Matthew 13.52

Those of you who may have followed me from my previous blog are probably wondering "Why the change?" I gave a brief explanation in my last post on that blog, but will try to expand that a bit, and in so doing, try to put into words what the purpose of this blog will be.

Purpose is something I've been struggling a bit with lately. I graduated with a Master of Divinity this spring, and am taking a year off to be a stay-at-home mom of a 3-yr-old (almost!) and an 8-month-old. I love my kids, I love my family, and this is a good season for me. But it's still been a difficult time for me as well. My son didn't really sleep more than 2 hours at a time until he was 6 months old, and I went from intense study and writing while I was working on my thesis to complete sleep deprivation with the only mental stimulation being grocery shopping and housework. Transition is a mild word for it.

So I've vacillated between loving the time I get to spend with my kids, and aching to get back into academia, both the study and the teaching. Sometimes I feel like two completely different people. And I've wondered if a Ph.D. program really is the next thing for me. Do I really need to do it? Is my family going to survive me doing it? Is God's purpose for me to be stay-at-home mom and a pastor's wife, and nothing more? Or am I called to juggle those with teaching and taking classes, doing language, research, personal study, and writing? And I've not found very many answers, aside from my husband's unwavering confidence in my calling to further studies and his also unwavering belief in my ability to juggle what seems at times to be an overwhelming mix of roles.

But this morning as I was sitting in church, I made a surprising connection between an Old Testament story and something Jesus said. Immediately following that was a snippet of Matthew 13.52, with God's voice somewhere inside me saying, "This is it." It was one of those big voice rumbling down the Grand Canyon moments, where you get the chills and wonder if everyone around you heard what you did. And then the skeptic in you wonders if you just made it up to answer the painful questions you've been asking. But the bone-deep certainty sort of drowned out his voice in a wash of calmness and peace I've not had about my future for a long time.

So let's talk a little about Matthew 13.52, and I'll take you with me as I seek to understand what that passage really means in its original context, and in its context this morning.

Here's the verse, NET translation:

Then he said to them, “Therefore every expert in the law who has been trained for the kingdom of heaven is like the owner of a house who brings out of his treasure what is new and old.”

And since this post is already getting a little long (the stream-of-consciousness confession was a little unpremeditated!), I'll leave you to think about that for a little bit, and I'll figure out a good place to start this journey in another post.